Stolen Passport in Country Without a US Embassy

You need an emergency travel document. The people who should be getting you this are the American Consulate, and since there isn't one in Turks and Caicos, the Bahamian one should be responsible.

You seem to have taken a very relaxed attitude to this situation. When the action recommended by the Bahamas consulate didn't work, you should have immediately called them again, not waited seven months for a reopening that clearly won't happen. If you didn't do that, they will have assumed you got home successfully or don't really need to leave. Even now, if you don't call them frequently, they will assume that you are content with the current situation. They won't do anything unless you ask them.

You should call the Bahamas consulate every day or two until you get a resolution. Tell them it is urgent (although they may be skeptical since you seem to have been OK staying in the Turks and Caicos for seven months). Don't bother calling airlines, CBP, State department or TSA (unless the consulate tells you to).

Anything else you try, like trying to sneak into the Bahamas, is likely to be illegal and have repercussions down the road. However an option you could try is to apply for a replacement passport in the regular way and have it mailed to a friend in the US (they won't mail it abroad). Then have the friend bring it to you in the Turks and Caicos. This is likely to be tricky in times of Covid, but should be manageable.

Be aware that if you don't apply for a replacement passport soon, you may find that you have to apply for a new passport rather than a replacement, which will be harder.

Here is a somewhat radical solution, and it might be pricy, but it will be fun. All you need to do is find a fellow American citizen in Turks and Caicos who has a boat.

Pay him to drop you off in the nearest US jurisdiction, which is the western coast of Puerto Rico. It will be a day’s travel each way by powerboat, four days by sail, which is why it will be expensive. Moor in some backwater like Rincon or Playa Buyé. Take a cab to Mayagüez and fly home.

Nobody will question an American-accented white person about his citizenship and of course, there are no passport checks on domestic flights. Technically, you are not even breaking the law, since you have the legal right to enter the US.

(Actually, re-reading the law, it may be technically illegal, but reality is, they are never going to check. If they ask you any questions, just don’t answer them.