Dos and don'ts at a Vietnamese wedding

Dos and don'ts at a Vietnamese wedding - Photography of People Wearing Traditional Clothes

I'm invited to a wedding in Ho Chi Minh City.

I know virtually nothing about Vietnam, I'll be there for the first time in my life. I know a little about Asian culture, but the only country I've visited until today was Japan.

I know the groom very well, but I have seen his parents only once. The other party is totally unknown to me. Furthermore I won't know anybody on the wedding and I'll perhaps be the only one incapable of speaking and understanding Vietnamese.

I'm interested in the procedure of the whole ceremony and all clangers I can drop.

Two questions are predominant at the moment:

  • What should I wear?
  • What present should I give to the couple?


Best Answer

I'll post my own findings as an answer because it's too long for a comment.

I have to say in advance that both the families of the groom and the bride are residents of Ho Chi Minh City, so the event might be adapted to the metropolitan customs somehow.

The wedding took place in a wedding hall in Ho Chi Minh City. As a good German I came 30 minutes before the official beginning. The groom had also told me I could show up earlier, to attend some of the official photo shootings.

I wore my best formal dress. Later on I found myself a little bit ovedressed. Upon arrival the highly professional staff explained to me that it's unusual to show up early but I did not cause any difficulties anyway. The groom asked me then to be on a bunch of pictures with his and his wife's family, which must have been some privilege, because they did pose only with a few of all the 600 guests.

The gifts were to be placed into a box on a big decorated table near the entry of the hall. I was told that it is not longer necessary to use the red envelope for the gift. In fact most guests used the white envelope in which they had received their invitation to deposit their gift.

The wedding started on the spot at 18:00 and had a tight schedule with pictures, a movie about the couple and show dance on a stage among other events. There was neither space or time for the guests to dance or mingle with each others. Great diligence seemed to be spent on the distribution of the guests over the many big tables in the hall.

We were only four non-Vietnamese and sat next to some close relatives of the groom, (brother, uncle, niece IIRC), who all spoke English fluently. I guess other than most of the guests.

The meals were as orchestrated as the whole event, which ended at 9 pm on the spot. I got the explanation for that: assuming any wedding in a big town has 200 to 1,000 guests, it is rather clear that you are likely to be invited to a wedding every two weeks if you have some relatives and friends. If weddings took the time they used to take, the employers in a city might start a mutiny if 10% of their staff came to work with a hangover every day.

The couple, knowing about our European understanding of weddings, took us to a bar afterwards.

Finally it seemed to me that weddings in the capital are somehow adapted to European or American weddings in terms of clothing, decoration and location but with some very special flavours. It was a very interesting experience I didn't want to miss!




Pictures about "Dos and don'ts at a Vietnamese wedding"

Dos and don'ts at a Vietnamese wedding - Couple in Yellow Ao Dai on Their Wedding Day
Dos and don'ts at a Vietnamese wedding - Woman Wearing a Conical Hat Standing on a Street
Dos and don'ts at a Vietnamese wedding - Woman Wearing a Conical Hat Looking at Camera



What should you not wear to a Vietnamese wedding?

Therefore, avoid wearing something similar to what the bride will wear and try not to choose white, red, and pastel colors. Purple florals represent sadness, and white florals represent funerals and death, so they are a big no for wedding guests.

What colors should you not wear at a Vietnamese wedding?

Guest costume To a guest, when coming to join a Vietnamese traditional wedding, you should avoid these following colors. They are red, white and light pastel colors. The reason is just simple, you might look alike the bride.

How much money do you give at a Vietnamese wedding?

Vietnamese will not have a wedding registry. Checks or cash are much more appreciated as they will help pay for the wedding or help the couple get started with their new life's journey. $100 per guest is recommended since food, drinks, and wedding venue rental alone would cost the couple that much.

What should I bring to a Vietnamese wedding?

The gifts may include tea, wine, betel leaves , fruits, wedding pies, candles, a full roasted pig and a traditional wedding dress . In the engagement ceremony , the bride wears the traditional ao dai in bright gold or red colors.



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Images: Min An, Hồng Xuân Viên, Anna Tarazevich, Anna Tarazevich