Navigating the layers of American hotel beds: where are you actually supposed to sleep?

I travel a lot, and here's how I handle it.

Unless you are staying in a hotel that washes the comforter/duvet between each guest, you should immediately pull it off the bed and throw it on the floor¹. Then wash your hands, because god only knows what was on that duvet.

Look in the closet for a plastic bag containing a spare fleece blanket. If it is in a plastic bag, it is more likely to be clean than the duvet/comforter was.

Get in bed, between the sheet covering the mattress and the sheet above it.

¹ I also have a special treatment for the remote control. If I have Purell handy, I douse the remote control with it. If I don't have Purell, I take the clear plastic bag in the ice bucket, put the remote control inside the bag, and wash my hands. This is especially important if your hotel offers adult movies on demand, because if those movies are available, you can bet your life that an enormous number of people have used the remote to choose an adult movie, then masturbated, then used the remote to turn the movie off. Gross.

It's a good idea to avoid walking in bare feet in a hotel room, unless you like athlete's foot and/or jock itch.