Japanese etiquette: Most common (and offensive) mistakes? [closed]

Funnily enough, I read an article on askmen.com about the top 10 Japanese etiquette mistakes.

Boiled down to bullet points, we have:

1. Blowing your nose in public
2. Pointing with your forefinger
3. Don't pour your own beer
4. Wearing toilet slippers outside of toilet
5. Giving gifts in multiples of four
6. Failing to wash first before entering a public bath
7. Passing food with chopsticks to someone else's
8. Sticking chopsticks upright in rice (really bad)
9. Mishandling someone's business card (don't put it in back pocket, or fold it)
10. Wearing your shoes into someone's home

I did three years of Japanese in school, and the chopsticks in rice was definitely one we learned, as was the wearing of shoes in someone's house.

Mark's answer is excellent and covers all the big ones. From experience, just thought I'd add some other / my own social faux pas:

• Eating in public whilst walking
• Crossing your legs in front of your superiors (boss or manager, usually)
• Wiping your face with 'oshibori' (moist cloth given before a meal to clean your hands)
• Stabbing food with chopsticks rather than using them as intended
• Once got moaned at for not reversing my chopsticks when taking from a communal plate, but most of my friends laugh when I suggest doing so.
• Last but not least, saying Hokkaido beef jerky tastes disgusting when it's brought back to class as a souvenir by a student (I WAS YOUNG AND STUPID)

While some of these might seem ridiculous, I've been chastised for most of them, and many still give me full body cringes just to think about. Painful memories.

Two additional points.

1. Never turn your back on someone you are communicating with, someone who is assisting you, or someone you are visiting, especially in a guest's home.
2. You should not make sudden movements or comments that might be considered argumentative, hostile, or of a delicate nature. You should always preface this with some introductory phrase, such as ???(ano) for casual situations or ????? (sumimasen) for formal situations or with strangers, and wait for their acknowledgment. This implies that you may bring up a topic that may be considered abrupt at the least.

Also if you ask for assistence from a stranger in a public place (such as a train station or store), always proceed your request with ????? (sumimasen). To do otherwse would be considered rude.

By default, sit in the back, not the front, of the taxi. However, this isn't so much a Japan-specific thing as an anywhere-other-than-Australia-New-Zealand-specific thing.

The most counter-intuitive etiquette advice I've received is to not thank staff. The Japanese Language & Usage question Is it proper to thank waitstaff, cashiers, etc. for their service? discusses this, and the general consensus is that it's ok either way. Dave M G's answer had a section on why you might choose not to thank staff:

My bonus cultural observation: The Japanese concept of service is that it's not about the people. The person working at a store or restaurant is becomes entirely a representative of that place while on duty, and they check their individual personality at the door. So for the customer, the staff does not merit personal interaction the way other people do.

To a non-Japanese mind, it seems a little harsh, as in other cultures, like mine, we tend to think about the person doing the job. I tend to sympathize with the guy doing the minimum wage job. However, in Japanese culture, it's not an attempt to be superior to the service staff, it's an acknowledgement that the service staff are also not necessarily personally invested in the job.

In some ways, there is a certain liberation in the concept, because the staff can also detach themselves from the job so as not to take issues personally.

As a side note, don't worry too much about etiquette. If you're normally a polite person, and remember not to wear your shoes or toilet slippers where you shouldn't then you'll probably do fine. I've spent a total of about 6 weeks in Japan from three trips, and I'm not aware of making any mistakes, although I had one minor near-miss.

I'm not Japanese but have a lot of Japanese friends. I think bow is the best way to show respect to people. If you go into a restaurant, the manager or waitresses will bow to you should bow back and that should be ok. And the thing that will frustrate/upset most Japanese restaurant owners is that you use chopsticks to pick up a sushi or dip the rice in soya sauce. Also, they don't except tips at all. If you think the service is good, just say thank you and smile and that should be ok.

Also, when eating Ramen, making sounds is also ok as that means it's really good. The cook will be pleased to hear that.